Solo Self-Care for Single Adults: Is Masturbation Healthy? What Doctors Say

Nobody tells you this when you're single, divorced or widowed: your body's needs don't go on pause just because your relationship status did.

Solo sexual self-care is one of the most common human behaviors and one of the least discussed. Adults of every age and gender do it, and many still carry guilt or myths from childhood. This guide sets out, calmly and plainly, what health organizations actually say.

Is it normal?

Yes. The NHS describes masturbation as a normal and healthy part of sexuality, and large surveys in the US, UK and Australia consistently find that most adults, men and women, single or partnered, report doing it at least occasionally. It's common in later life too, including among people in their 60s, 70s and beyond.

The myths, quickly

• It doesn't cause blindness, hair growth, infertility or "weakness." These are old myths with no medical basis.
• It doesn't mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. Plenty of people in happy relationships also do it.
• There's no "right" frequency. Doing it often, rarely or never are all normal, as long as you're comfortable with it.

Possible health benefits

Research in this area is limited, so treat these as "may help," not guarantees:

• Stress and sleep. Sexual arousal and release are linked to hormones such as oxytocin and endorphins, which many people find relaxing and helpful for falling asleep.
• Getting to know your body. Sex educators and therapists often suggest it as a low-pressure way to learn what feels good, which can help when you do date again.
• Prostate health. A large Harvard-led study of about 32,000 men (published in European Urology in 2016) found that men who reported ejaculating more often had a modestly lower risk of prostate cancer. It shows an association, not proof of cause.
• Vaginal health after menopause. Menopause specialists note that regular sexual activity, solo or partnered, can support blood flow and comfort in vaginal tissue. A lubricant or vaginal moisturizer often helps too.
• Period cramps. Some women report that orgasm eases cramps, likely thanks to muscle relaxation and endorphins.

When it might be worth talking to someone

Self-care becomes a problem only when it causes distress: if it feels compulsive, gets in the way of work, sleep or relationships, or causes physical irritation. A doctor or a licensed sex therapist can help without judgment. In the US you can find certified sex therapists through AASECT; in the UK, through COSRT.

Practical, healthy habits

• Use lubricant. Friction causes most minor irritation. Water-based lubricant is safe with every material; silicone-based lubricant lasts longer but shouldn't be used with silicone products.
• Choose body-safe products. If you use a personal massager, look for medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic or glass, and avoid unlabeled "jelly" materials that may contain phthalates.
• Keep things clean. Wash products with warm water and mild unscented soap, or a toy cleaner, and let them dry fully.
• Give yourself permission. If guilt is the biggest barrier, it can help to remember that this is a private, normal part of looking after your body.

For older adults

Hormone changes can mean arousal takes longer, sensation feels different, or erections are less firm. That's normal. Many older adults find that a gentle personal massager, more time, and a good lubricant make a real difference. If arthritis or limited grip is an issue, see our guide on choosing personal massagers when you have arthritis.

The bottom line

Solo self-care is normal at every adult age, carries no known physical harm when done comfortably, and may help with stress, sleep and body confidence. If it ever starts to feel distressing, that's a reason to talk to a professional, not a reason for shame.

Sources: NHS (masturbation and sexual health), Rider et al., European Urology 2016, The Menopause Society, AASECT. This article is general education, not medical advice.