How to Talk to Your Kids About Online Safety and Explicit Content (Before Someone Else Does)

A US survey by Common Sense Media found the average age kids first saw pornography online was 12, and many saw it by accident. Most parents assume their child hasn't. Most kids never tell.

You can't block everything. What you can do is make sure your child knows they can come to you, and has a way to make sense of what they see.

Ages 6 to 9: keep it simple

"Sometimes on the internet you might see pictures of people without clothes, or things that feel weird or yucky. That's not your fault. Close it and come tell me. You won't be in trouble."

The promise of no trouble matters most.

Ages 10 to 12: name it and explain it

Kids this age are curious and online more. Be clear that some videos show adults doing private things, that it's made to make money, and that it isn't what real relationships look like. Talk about how real relationships involve respect, kindness and both people agreeing.

Teenagers: talk about respect and consent

Short, frequent chats work better than one big talk. Car journeys help, because nobody has to make eye contact. Topics to cover over time:

• Explicit videos are acting, not real life
• Consent: both people agree, every time, and anyone can change their mind
• Sharing nude images of anyone under 18 is illegal in many countries, even with a friend
• Pressure to send photos is a red flag, and they can always say no or come to you

Practical settings

• Turn on parental controls on phones, tablets and the home Wi-Fi router
• Use SafeSearch on search engines and restricted mode on video apps
• Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight for younger kids
• Agree on rules together, and explain the reasons

If your child has already seen something

Stay calm. Thank them for telling you. Ask what they saw and how they felt. Tell them it isn't their fault. If an adult has contacted them or asked for images, save the messages and report it to the platform and the police.

If you're worried about your child's safety, contact your local child protection service.