100 Long-Distance Relationship Questions (Printable)

"How was your day?" "Fine. Yours?" "Fine." If your video calls have started to sound like this, you don't need a new relationship. You need better questions.

Long-distance relationships often run on conversation. When you can't share a sofa, a meal or a lazy Sunday, talking is how you stay close. And yet after the hundredth "How was your day?" call, it is easy to run out of things to say.

This list of 100 questions is meant to help. Some are silly, some are deep, and a few are a little bit flirty without being explicit. Use them on video calls, voice notes, or long text threads. To print them, just use your browser's print button; the page is formatted to print cleanly.

How to use these questions

• Pick a few, not all. Three or four good questions can fill an hour.
• Both answer. Take turns, and ask follow-ups like "Why?" or "What happened next?"
• Don't treat it as a test. There are no wrong answers. The point is curiosity.
• Save the deep ones for calm nights. Big questions land better when neither of you is tired or rushing.
• Write down what you learn. Some couples keep a shared note of each other's answers. It's lovely to look back on.

Light and fun (1 to 25)

1. What's the best thing you ate this week?
2. If you could teleport to me right now, what would we do first?
3. What song has been stuck in your head lately?
4. What's your most useless talent?
5. If we had a free Saturday together, how would you plan it?
6. What's a smell that instantly takes you back to childhood?
7. Which fictional character are you most like?
8. What's the weirdest thing in your fridge right now?
9. If you could live in any city for a year, where would it be?
10. What's a small thing that made you laugh today?
11. What would your perfect sandwich be?
12. Which movie could you watch over and over?
13. What would you name a pet we adopted together?
14. What's the strangest dream you remember?
15. Morning person, night owl, or neither?
16. What's an app on your phone you're slightly embarrassed about?
17. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
18. If you had to eat one cuisine forever, which one?
19. What's a hobby you'd love to try?
20. What's the best gift you've ever received?
21. Beach holiday or mountain cabin?
22. What were you obsessed with at age ten?
23. What's your go-to karaoke song?
24. Which season suits you best, and why?
25. What would your superhero name be?

Getting to know each other better (26 to 50)

26. What did your family do on weekends when you were growing up?
27. Who has influenced you the most?
28. What's something you've changed your mind about in the last few years?
29. What are you most proud of?
30. What's a fear you've overcome?
31. Which friend knows you best, and why?
32. What does a good day look like for you?
33. What's something people often get wrong about you?
34. How do you like to be comforted when you're upset?
35. What's a book or film that changed how you think?
36. When do you feel most like yourself?
37. What's a tradition you'd like to keep or start?
38. What do you wish you'd learned earlier in life?
39. What's a place that feels like home to you?
40. What's the hardest thing you've ever done?
41. How do you recharge after a long week?
42. What's a goal you're quietly working toward?
43. Who would you call first with good news?
44. What's a memory you'd love to relive?
45. What does success mean to you?
46. What makes you feel appreciated?
47. What was your first job like?
48. What are you curious about right now?
49. What's something kind a stranger once did for you?
50. What are three words your friends would use to describe you?

About us (51 to 75)

51. What did you think of me when we first met?
52. What's your favorite memory of us so far?
53. When did you first realize you really liked me?
54. What's something I do that makes you feel loved?
55. What's one thing you'd like us to do more of?
56. What's the hardest part of being apart for you?
57. What helps you feel close to me when we're far away?
58. How often would you like to talk, honestly?
59. Do you prefer calls, texts, voice notes or letters?
60. What's something you miss about being together in person?
61. What's a small surprise that would make your week?
62. How do you feel when I don't reply for a while?
63. What should we do the next time we see each other?
64. What's an inside joke of ours you love?
65. What's one thing you'd like to understand better about me?
66. How do you like to handle disagreements?
67. Is there anything you've wanted to tell me but haven't?
68. What's your love language, and has it changed?
69. What's something I could do to support you this month?
70. What do you think our biggest strength is as a couple?
71. What do you think we need to work on?
72. What's a song that reminds you of us?
73. What's your favorite photo of us?
74. How do you picture a normal evening when we live together?
75. What do you love most about how we communicate?

Future and deeper questions (76 to 90)

76. Where do you see us in five years?
77. What's our plan for closing the distance?
78. Which city could you imagine us living in?
79. How do you feel about marriage?
80. Do you want children? How do you feel about it?
81. How do you want to handle money as a couple?
82. What role do you want family to play in our lives?
83. What would make you feel secure in this relationship?
84. What's a dream you'd like us to chase together?
85. What scares you most about the future?
86. What does commitment mean to you?
87. How should we celebrate milestones when we're apart?
88. What would a perfect home look like for us?
89. How do you want to grow as a person in the next year?
90. What would you never want to compromise on?

A little flirty, still clean (91 to 100)

91. What's your favorite thing about the way I look?
92. What outfit of mine do you like best?
93. What's the first thing you want to do when we see each other?
94. What's the most romantic thing someone could do for you?
95. Where's the most romantic place you can imagine us going?
96. What's something about me that you find irresistible?
97. Describe your ideal date night with me.
98. What do you miss most about my hugs?
99. What makes you feel most wanted?
100. What's a moment with me you think about when you can't sleep?

A few more ways to stay close

Questions are just one tool. Long-distance couples who do well also tend to:

• Keep a rhythm. A regular call time gives you both something to look forward to.
• Do things "together" apart. Watch the same film at the same time, cook the same recipe, or read the same book.
• Send something physical. A letter, a hoodie, or a small parcel has a weight that texts don't.
• Keep a countdown. Knowing when you will next see each other makes the distance easier to carry.
• Be honest about the hard days. Research on long-distance couples suggests that open communication about feelings is linked to higher satisfaction.

If you'd like structured exercises, try our free couples communication exercises, many of which work just as well over video.

You might also enjoy our short story Nine Hours Ahead, about a couple who made the most of their time zones.

Sources

• The Gottman Institute, "Love Maps" and long-distance relationship articles (gottman.com)
• Jiang, L. C. & Hancock, J. T. (2013), "Absence makes the communication grow fonder," Journal of Communication