How to Choose Body-Safe Personal Wellness Products: A Plain Guide for Men and Women

The cheapest personal massager online can be made of the same soft plastics that some countries restrict in children's toys. Nobody puts that on the box.

Personal wellness products (massagers, sleeves, pelvic floor trainers and the like) are used by millions of adults, single and partnered, men and women. Yet in most countries they are lightly regulated. In the US they are generally sold as "novelties," so there is no required safety testing for the materials. That means the buyer has to do the checking. Here is what to look for, in plain terms.

Start with the material

The material matters more than the brand, the price or the number of settings.

• Medical-grade or platinum-cured silicone. Non-porous, so it doesn't trap bacteria, and easy to clean. This is the material most sexual health educators recommend.
• ABS plastic. Hard, smooth and non-porous. Common on handles and outer shells. Fine.
• Stainless steel and borosilicate glass. Non-porous and very easy to sterilize. Heavier, which some people like and others don't.

Be careful with:

• "Jelly," "TPE," "TPR," "cyberskin" or "real feel." These soft materials are porous. Tiny pores can hold bacteria and fungi even after washing, so they are best used with a condom and replaced regularly.
• PVC softened with phthalates. Phthalates are chemicals used to make plastic soft. The EU restricts several of them in children's toys and childcare items, and health agencies continue to study their effects on hormones. A strong chemical smell is a warning sign.
• Vague labels. "Body-safe material" with no name attached tells you nothing. Reputable makers name the material.

A quick check that many educators suggest: real silicone has no smell, isn't sticky or oily, and doesn't stretch like a rubber band.

For women

• Size and shape. Most women's pleasure comes from external stimulation; the clitoris has thousands of nerve endings, most of them on or near the surface. Many people find a small external massager more useful than an insertable one.
• Comfort after menopause. Lower estrogen can make tissue thinner and drier. A softer, flexible shape and plenty of lubricant help. If you have pain, see the guide on intimacy after menopause and talk to your doctor; vaginal estrogen and moisturizers are well-studied options.
• Pelvic floor trainers. These are different products, meant for strengthening rather than pleasure. If you're considering one for leaking or prolapse, the NHS recommends seeing a pelvic health physiotherapist first, since doing the exercises wrong is common.

For men

• Sleeves and strokers are usually made of TPE, which is porous. Rinse with warm water straight after use, let them dry fully (many have removable shells for this), and replace them when the surface becomes cloudy or tacky.
• Constriction rings are sometimes used for erection problems. The FDA-cleared kind used with vacuum erection devices comes with instructions, and the usual medical advice is not to wear one for more than 30 minutes. If you're using one because of erection trouble, it's worth a check-up; erection problems can be an early sign of heart disease or diabetes. Our guide to erectile dysfunction after 60 explains why.
• Prostate massagers should have a flared base and be used with plenty of lubricant. Stop if anything hurts.

Pick the right lubricant

• Water-based: works with every material and condoms. Can dry out, so you may need to reapply.
• Silicone-based: lasts longer and is good for sensitive or dry skin, but it can damage silicone products over time. Test on a small spot or use water-based with silicone items.
• Oil-based: don't use with latex condoms; oil weakens latex.

The World Health Organization has advised that lubricants with very high osmolality (very concentrated, often with lots of glycerin) can irritate tissue. If a lubricant stings, switch to a simpler one.

Cleaning and storage

1. Wash after every use with warm water and mild unscented soap, or a product made for it.
2. Non-porous items without electronics (steel, glass, solid silicone) can be boiled for a few minutes if the maker allows it.
3. Let everything dry fully before storing.
4. Store items separately in a cloth bag so soft materials don't react with each other.
5. Don't share porous items. If you share anything, use a fresh condom each time.

Buying sensibly

• Buy from a retailer that names materials, offers discreet shipping and has a real returns or warranty policy.
• Be wary of very cheap listings with no material info on big marketplaces; counterfeits of known brands are common.
• Check the charging: magnetic USB is easier and more water-resistant than open ports.

When to see a doctor

Stop and get checked if you notice pain, bleeding, a rash, unusual discharge or burning that doesn't settle in a day or two. Some people are allergic to latex or to ingredients in lubricants.

The bottom line

Choose a named, non-porous material, match your lubricant to it, and keep it clean. That covers most of what makes a product safe, whatever your gender or age.

Sources: NHS (pelvic floor exercises; sexual health), U.S. FDA (vacuum erection devices), European Chemicals Agency (phthalate restrictions), World Health Organization (advisory note on personal lubricants, 2012), Cleveland Clinic. This article is general education, not medical advice.